It’s been a while since I last wrote.
It’s 2AM and I’m lying in bed, the taste of cigarettes still in my mouth mixed with the crackers I’ve eaten in an attempt to stop my grumbling stomach from screaming. Alcohol free, it doesn’t quite feel the same, on a Saturday night.
Two hours ago, my phone rang and your familiar name blinked on my screen, as I picked up and despite the loud background music, I managed to decipher an “I really miss you, I wish you were here with me”. You mumbled “I love you” as I struggled to return it without fighting the urge to slap myself in the face.
I love you.
I’ve wanted this for so long. And you’ve wanted this for so long.
And then my mind drifts off to your dark room. The faint echoes of your neighbors singing their lungs out next door. I breathe you in as the TV lights up your face in multicolor and you look at me, with that one sided smile I love so much. I try so hard to remind myself of why we’re fighting and try to figure out why you put up with all my antics. “It’s all worth it, I know it is.” You kiss me so deeply and your hands find their way around me. You whisper let’s never fight again, and I pull away and nod lightly.
Your chest bare, and me stripped of nothing but my polkadotted underwear, i turn away facing the wall and you hug me and sigh. I sigh too. And then you kiss my neck once more.
